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On Turning 31: Confidence & Clarity

I used to be so scared of turning 30. When I was in my twenties I always felt like I wasn’t accomplishing things fast enough and felt completely inadequate. Did I have a job? yes. Was I paying my bills? yes. So basically I was doing just fine compared to a lot of people. But in my mind all I could see was the fact that I was still living with my parents, still single and still just going through the day-to-day. I felt like I wasn’t moving forward in my life.

While I was somewhat “stuck” in terms of finances and stages in my life, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t accomplishing things. I was creating content for 2 (& then 3) blogs; I was volunteering with a local event in my area; I was crushing goals at work; I was making plans for the future. Overall, my 20s weren’t really lacking in accomplishments — I had just been sucked down into the insecurities of society’s expectations.

Now turning 31 and after a full year of living in my thirties, my mindset has definitely shifted. I’m on track to accomplish some big financial wins in the next year or two, I’m working towards a career shift & taking care of one crazy pup. I’d say that I’m accomplishing so much, but just on my own timeframe — and that’s OKAY! I’ve shoved aside society’s expectations and noises and have started finding happiness in my own timeline and my own circumstances.

Yes, I’m still living with my parents, but I’ll be buying a house soon — all on my own! That’s a huge accomplishment in my mind. Yes, I’m still working in a job that I’m not quite happy with, but I’m on track to start applying for jobs in a new field and hey, I’m still showing up and still crushing goals in my current job. All wins in my book! Yes, I’m still single. Yes, I’m still struggling with my self-love. But you know what? I actually really love being single! I know my friends get concerned about me “waiting” to put myself out there, but honestly I’ve been loving doing things on my own time, working on more self-healing and being able to commit 100% of my time to myself (outside of my adorable pup that is!). Having a partner in my life would be a bonus to me, but it isn’t my “end goal.” I can honestly say I don’t need a relationship to be happy or to feel complete. To me having a partner would just be an added bonus in life — someone to share my life and successes with, but not someone to make me feel like I have success or accomplished something. And I’m able right now to really focus on building up my self-love and finding my footing in my world.

Like I mentioned in my 2022 Intentions post, I’m focused on creating a life that I truly want. I’m finding my place & where I belong and I’m learning to take up space where before I would shrink or fade away.

This is all to say that my thirties are my decade to fulfill myself. They’re mine to use how I want and I will be using them to build the life I’ve envisioned for myself. I’m going to live them to my absolute fullest with the clarity and confidence that I was lacking in my twenties.

So here’s to 31!


Nicole Lynn

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